Consequences

            Back in mesa, I had a great friend named Robert Bunnell. We had gone through so much together. He was the kind of friend who would be happy one moment and deep in sorrow the next. He was known for not telling the truth for odd reasons. One day he even told me that his phone cost him 1,100 dollars and recharges itself! I went along with a smile knowing he would stand true to that belief until it be proven against him.

            You could say that Robert had 2 lives he was living; one in comfort, and one outside of comfort. He is Italian and has dark skin so he when out of his comfort zone holds to the gangster look. Most everyone at school accepted this Robert as the true Robert and never knew of the happy one. He had made many friends this way and had even gotten into a little friendly fight. I he told me about it and said I should come. So I did and watched my first up close school fight. Most of the ones I had seen were short and far away. This time I got to see a friend and a stranger up close. It was not what I had expected and was actually pretty lame. Haha, I bet you thought that that was going to be the consequence part. NOPE! It was later, but you have to understand Robert first. They had exchanged a few blows that weren’t very effective and then Robert slipped on the rocks and fell after a hit. He has been through so much as an adopted child and always seems to be slipping up.

            Of course the older kids liked taking advantage of Robert because of how self-cautious he is. They would sometimes be kind to him and ask questions to hear his BS. One day at mutual for our church, we had gathered together to play basketball. Robert wanted to get out of the house so he came along but refused to play because of all the competition. So he sat on stage and watched while texting. I had spoken with him briefly while I was benched from the game with Kyle Clifford for a bit. Kyle started talking to Robert about how he should be playing and that he was lame and un-masculine for not joining. I was called in to play and sadly was used to hearing such garbage from those boys so I didn’t pay it much mind. The next time I was switched out I found out through my stupid leader that Robert “was punched”. Ya, Robert actually looked up from his phone and stood up for himself. He told Kyle, “Shut up.” Not even in a loud voice. Kyle got up right then walked over and put Robert on the ground for it. I had to pry it out of my leader to hear for sure that it was actually Kyle who had done it. So I left the game to find Robert. I think Kyle was being spoken too by another leader of ours in the church at the time. I found Robert in his backyard which borders the entrance to the church parking. He was miserable and had been crying. When he saw me coming he wanted me to see a stronger part of him. He got up and mustered out, “I’m gonna kill him,” as he picked up a bat. I knew that he wasn’t going to do anything. The real him was soft and passive but he had grown to defend himself by lying to everyone till he actually believed his own lie.

 I know and love Robert, to the point where I can almost read his true thoughts, deep down through all of his lies that he puts up. He couldn’t deal with this pain of rejection any more. I alone could not fill in the gaps. He wanted retribution but knew he would never be able to get it. These boys well deserved it. So after calming Robert’s frustrations, I went home and explained it all to my siblings. They actually agreed on something I never thought of. My older brother told me that he would defend me after I go up to Kyle, in church, and punch him as hard as I could in his face. He explained an amazing and fool proof plan to make this look like an act of rage. Having it be mere revenge for Robert and Sam just being there by coincidence. The next Sunday came around quicker than I wanted. Sam was doing everything he could to not force me but I knew he really wanted this, as well as many others. The best opportunity came around and there I was about to premeditatedly strike down another man. I was afraid of so many things that could come from this and I just couldn’t do it. I let everyone down and remained safe in my refusal to act as was needed, for Robert’s sake at least. Ever since that day, Robert hasn’t come to church by his own will. He goes to give peace to his parents but there is no peace for him. He has come to realize the lonely world he lives in, where no one cares. There were no words that could fix him at that time. He is still damaged from this loneliness and every time I visit him, don’t know what to do to help. There is no way to act now. I can’t show him that he isn’t alone, and I fear that I never will.